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'I Don't Recall The Music' is a journal of loss, memory, nostalgia, melancholy and grief over a series of 30 images from 2020 to 2025. Each image is accompanied by a short, poetic caption that provides emotional context for the photograph. These images articulate the grief we experience over the death of loved ones, the collapse of relationships, the loss of friendships, and the departure of places we hold dear.
The Reach, April 2020
I took this during lockdown in 2020, not long after I started taking photography seriously. I woke up one morning to find a beam of light across my bathroom cupboard. I thought that if I had come fifteen minutes earlier the light would be better, so I set my alarm for that the next day.
I was reaching for something.
I don’t know what I was reaching for.
I was reaching for something.
I don’t know what I was reaching for.
Grandad by the Rosemary, October 2020
My nan grew rosemary to use for roast potatoes. She died in 2013. My grandad still maintained the rosemary bushes after that.
He never used it.
My nan had been dead for over seven years when this image was taken.
He never used it.
My nan had been dead for over seven years when this image was taken.
Grandpa and Buddy, March 2025
My maternal grandfather (Grandpa) was an actor. Among many health issues, he had Alzheimer’s. Even at the end of his life, he could quote Shakespeare. He and Buddy were inseparable.
He died six months after I took this.
I wonder what he was thinking about.
I wonder why that cushion is on the floor.
I didn’t pick it up.
He died six months after I took this.
I wonder what he was thinking about.
I wonder why that cushion is on the floor.
I didn’t pick it up.
Grandma at the dressing table, November 2025
My maternal grandfather (Grandpa) was an actor. Among many health issues, he had Alzheimer’s. Even at the end of his life, he could quote Shakespeare. He and Buddy were inseparable.
He died six months after I took this.
I wonder what he was thinking about.
I wonder why that cushion is on the floor.
I didn’t pick it up.
He died six months after I took this.
I wonder what he was thinking about.
I wonder why that cushion is on the floor.
I didn’t pick it up.
Sam and Max in Florence, September 2024
In September 2024, I went to Florence and Barcelona with my friend Max (right) and my former partner, Sam (left).
We were still friends then.
This was at our Airbnb in Florence. We were tired but having a great time. This photo isn’t staged, surprisingly.
We started dancing after this.
I don’t recall the music.
We were still friends then.
This was at our Airbnb in Florence. We were tired but having a great time. This photo isn’t staged, surprisingly.
We started dancing after this.
I don’t recall the music.
Grandad’s Kitchen, October 2020
I vividly remember my grandad making me cups of tea in a red mug with dinosaurs on it, illustrated the way you might imagine seeing in a children’s book.
He didn’t cook, so he made us tea.
I asked for three sugars. He said okay, but he would only put two.
I didn’t notice at the time.
He didn’t cook, so he made us tea.
I asked for three sugars. He said okay, but he would only put two.
I didn’t notice at the time.
Grandad’s Kitchen, March 2022
There is no kettle.
There is no dinosaur mug.
There is no sugar.
There is no dinosaur mug.
There is no sugar.
The Yellow Room, March 2022
Whenever we stayed at our (paternal) grandparents’ house, my sister and I would sleep in this room with bright yellow wallpaper. My dad shared it with his brother when they were kids.
This was taken the same day as the previous photo.
The cupboard is empty, but my sister looked in it anyway.
Yellow is her favourite colour.
I hate it.
This was taken the same day as the previous photo.
The cupboard is empty, but my sister looked in it anyway.
Yellow is her favourite colour.
I hate it.
The Christmas Tree, December 2025
I moved in with my grandma after my grandpa died. Her house has a great view of the river.
Every year, my grandpa would do a speech at the estate’s ‘Christmas tree lighting party’.
Someone else did it in his place.
They mentioned the loss of my grandpa.
He isn’t lost; he is dead.
Every year, my grandpa would do a speech at the estate’s ‘Christmas tree lighting party’.
Someone else did it in his place.
They mentioned the loss of my grandpa.
He isn’t lost; he is dead.
The Dead Tree, October 2025
My mum’s brother died aged 28.
It was her 22nd birthday.
My grandparents never talked about it. They had a memorial bench placed for him in Bushy Park.
This tree is in Bushy Park.
It is dead.
It was her 22nd birthday.
My grandparents never talked about it. They had a memorial bench placed for him in Bushy Park.
This tree is in Bushy Park.
It is dead.
Woodbine Beach, February 2023
Sam’s grandmother told me the beach in Toronto had frozen over, so I went to photograph it.
I passed a woman who told me she had walked there every day for the last 40 years and had never seen it like this.
It was my second time at the beach.
I never saw it like this again.
I passed a woman who told me she had walked there every day for the last 40 years and had never seen it like this.
It was my second time at the beach.
I never saw it like this again.
The Balcony, July 2022
I knew Sam from social media for two years before we met. She and two of her friends, including Jordan, were doing a month-long tour of Western and Southern Europe. London was their first stop.
Sam and I kissed the day we met.
I told her I loved her in Paris.
We aren’t in love anymore.
This photo was taken in Paris.
Sam and I kissed the day we met.
I told her I loved her in Paris.
We aren’t in love anymore.
This photo was taken in Paris.
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